I am lazy.

If you saw my morning routine, you would agree. I wake up, put in my contacts and curl up with my laptop on my stomach and surf the web for about an hour or so, then I go get food. After food, I sit back down, grab my laptop, and lose track of time all over again. Then I shower.

I have a bad habit.

Do you see what it is?

My FIRST activity every morning is to surf on the internet. Wow. I’m kinda pathetic.

I mean, I know a few people who probably do that same thing. I live alone now, so I’m usually bored, and chatting on IM or looking at blogs helps fill that time.

Know what happened today?

Yeah, you guessed it. God showed me a revelation over it all.

(If you read Jon Acuff’s blog, this is going to be a type of the Jesus Juke he talks of. If you don’t read his site… you should.)

“If you spent the same amount of time reading your bible as you do on your laptop, you’d read through your bible in six months.” (I’m pretty sure I exaggerated a little, but it’s more true than you might think…)

He showed me that I’ve begun to completely ignore Him. My whole church right now is all reading through their bible in a year’s time… and I’m on the internet. While everyone is tackling Goliath and hugging the prodigal son, I’m looking up recipes and DIY projects. While everyone is cleaning their acts up and being Jesus, I am caught in my own world oblivious to being anything other than obsessed with myself.

I hate it.

I used to read every day.

I used to send out inspirational texts every day after my quiet times.

I used to be in love with Jesus.

Oh wow. Did she just say that?

Yes. I did. When you think of it though, we all do that.

We wear the “I love Jesus” shirts when we read our bible. We have “I love Jesus” hats for when we do a good deed for someone else. We have the “I love Jesus” attitude when we tithe, worship, minister, pray… you get the idea. I’m not trying to make a joke of these things, but when we do these things something in us changes. Our focus changes. Our eyes are set on God and nothing else.

I could create a whole list of ‘When you fall out of love with Jesus’ stuff (and I actually did but erased it..) but I realized that it all comes down to one thing: ‘We ignore Jesus when we don’t love Him’. Everyday we make a choice to love or hate Jesus, and I’ve realized my actions show that I hate Him more than I love Him. I hate that.

I love Jesus, I do. More than anyone really knows. But my actions, alone and out in the world, show otherwise.

I’ve not put myself in a place intentionally for God to teach me something today, but He taught me something anyways. Could you imagine what He could teach me (and you!) if I chose to spend more time with Him everyday?

So today, just today, look at what you’ve done so far and ask yourself:

Are your actions showing you love Jesus, or hate Him?

I don’t know about you, but I hope from this moment on I reek of love for Him.


About mefetterhoff

From baking, buttons and blogging, all my thoughts typed out on a website. View all posts by mefetterhoff

One response to “Hate.

  • Matt @ The Church of No People

    Hey Melanie, thanks so much for commenting on my blog! I always enjoy hearing from new readers. Oh, I’m with you. I often feel lazy too – starting my day with the internet. If I don’t get things started by mid-morning, I feel the day is wasted and there’s no point in starting anything. Isn’t that silly? Hope to see you around again!

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